Advice I'm Not Qualified to Give

Sometimes in life you feel like a fake. A phony.

You are doing something or discussing something on a topic about which you have no real experience. It happens to me occasionally. But it happens every time I talk to people about one specific thing – retirement.

Full disclosure: I’ve never retired. I have no first-hand knowledge of what it’s like to quit a job with no plans for future gainful employment. In truth, I don’t plan to retire for another two decades or so.

And yet, I routinely find myself in conversations with folks about retirement. I even find myself offering advice about how to prepare and what to expect, knowing full good and well I am, if anything, an armchair retirement expert.

Thus, the fakeness; the phoniness.

While I’ve never smashed a proverbial alarm clock, I have read a good amount about retirement, and I have been fortunate to ask a good number of people what it’s like to live in retirement. So I don’t feel completely counterfeit when offering pointers to expectant retirees. But I urge them to do their own research, too.

That being said, here are three things I think everyone should contemplate before coasting into retirement.

First and foremost, if you are married, discuss retirement with your spouse.

You likely spent less than 10 years – and often less than five – of your early relationship as a standalone couple. You probably spent 20 to 30 years, or more, as a couple with the craziness and busyness of children. From there, you may have spent another decade as a standalone couple again with your children out of the house.

But most couples have never spent every waking hour, day after day, non-stop, for years on end, together. Just the two of you. No kids. No work. Just you and your spouse.

From what I gather, it’s an adjustment.

Even the most doting couples can find it…trying. So talk to your spouse about your plans, goals, travels, hobbies, routines, and expectations.

Second, you will have more time on your hands than you think.

That list of projects you have? It won’t last long. Some projects will be accomplished faster than you thought and others will drop off. Oh, and those recreational activities? They won’t be as dreamy as you imagined. Golfing every day isn’t as fun as you think. Fishing every day gets old. And watching TV for hours on end becomes boring.

Humans are wired to strive. So find passion projects that last for years on end. Think back to your happiest moments. Think back to your proudest personal moments. Think back to your moments of great joy. What were you doing? Who were you with? Try to find ways to replicate those magical moments through activities and responsibilities.

Volunteer at your church or a local non-profit. Pick up a part-time job. Find joy in building or sustaining something that is bigger than you. Become a mentor. Your life will be more fulfilling if you can.

And third, maintain a variety of relationships.

As humans, we are most content when we are part of a community. Having a job makes those points of contact much easier. Retirement can rob you of personal interactions if you let it. So schedule time with friends. Meet with family. Travel with the ones you get along with best.

Surrounding yourself with people you care about is a richness that money cannot buy.

Speaking of money, it’s often the first thing people think of when it comes to retirement. But from what I can tell, it generally turns out to be the least important.

But, hey, what do I know?