I Wonder...

Money is an intensely private thing. I find that interesting because currency is quite public.

Think about it. The U.S. dollar is printed by an institution empowered by the public, is doled out to members of the public, and is freely exchanged in public, all day every day. But once in your possession, it becomes quite private.

As a result, how many dollar bills – my shorthand for wealth – you have collected is unknown to your fellow citizens. Sure, we may think we have a good idea of what some people have. If you’re a farmer, I can open a plat map to see how many acres you have in your name or a related legal entity. If you are a large shareholder of a publicly traded company, you may be required to report the number of shares you own, which allows anyone to calculate the current market value.

But there’s a lot we can’t see and don’t know. We may know that a farmer owns 1,500 acres, but we probably don’t know if a massive pile of debt was used to acquire those acres, or if a rich uncle died and left a fortune to them, allowing those acres to be purchased outright.

Without knowing both sides of a person’s financial ledger – both their assets and liabilities – we can’t know their net worth. And that’s okay. It’s not all that important. In fact, it’s less interesting than you may think.

Members of the financial industry – accountants, bankers, and financial advisors – are trusted with very personal financial information. We see it all the time. You become numb to it, quite frankly. It’s like an ER nurse seeing a severed finger; at some point, it’s just part of the job. The ‘wow’ factor quickly fades.

For most people, however, this is not readily available information. And that makes it intriguing.

I can’t tell you how often I hear questions like, “How much do you think they make?” It’s a question floated casually among friends. It’s also a terrible question.

Why?

Because it doesn’t matter. Knowing the answer may satisfy an internal curiosity, but it won’t help you in any way. Knowing the answer won’t tell you how much that person has spent versus invested. It also doesn’t tell you how much they have in their bank account or on the asset side of their financial ledger.

Here’s what I’ve found when it comes to financial metrics, like income and net worth: The number for many people is either way less than you think or way more than you think.

I have seen doctors with impressive incomes but below average net worths. I have seen hourly workers with average incomes but impressive net worths.

Even if you know how much income someone has, or net worth they have accumulated, you don’t fully understand the tradeoffs they made along the way to get there. They may have failed marriages or fractured relationships with children and family. There could be untold hours, toiling at work, rather than enjoying precious time with friends or on cherished hobbies. You don’t know the stress they endured to reach that financial figure.

In the end, none of it matters. You aren’t them, and they aren’t you. Nothing will change that. We all need to do the best we can with what we have. Forget what others may – or may not – have.

As the saying goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

To wonder is natural, but to compare can be harmful.

Instead of wondering, instead of comparing, try to spend time being grateful for what you have. That mindset may not show up on a financial ledger, but it’s way more important.